The Girlfriend Summer Survival Guide

Over the dreaded anti football period they call summer, not a lot happens. You convince yourself you can cope with Copa America and Masters Football, but lets face it... nothing beats the real thing.

You are even forced into going shopping with the other half as well!!! Nightmare!!! This forces you into communicating with the opposite sex which lets face it is tricky at the best of times.

So here is a guide to the language of the other half, don't always take what you here from your girl in man language, the words she uses often have a hidden meaning. Intrigued??? Read on...

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

So there you have it... hope this helps... and roll on the start of the season.

Mikey Gamst, Feminist Alliance.

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