Vital Football

Latest Blackburn Rovers News

The Girlfriend Summer Survival Guide

The Girlfriend Summer Survival Guide

Over the dreaded anti football period they call summer, not a lot happens. You convince yourself you can cope with Copa America and Masters Football, but lets face it... nothing beats the real thing.

You are even forced into going shopping with the other half as well!!! Nightmare!!! This forces you into communicating with the opposite sex which lets face it is tricky at the best of times.

So here is a guide to the language of the other half, don't always take what you here from your girl in man language, the words she uses often have a hidden meaning. Intrigued??? Read on...

Nine words women use...

1.) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something,
and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing
usually end in fine.

4.) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement
often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an
idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing
with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman
can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard
before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say
you're welcome.

8.) Whatever : Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning
this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but
is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's
wrong?' For the woman's response refer to #3.

So there you have it... hope this helps... and roll on the start of the season.

Mikey Gamst, Feminist Alliance.

NOT REGISTERED TO VITAL BLACKBURN? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! Register by clicking here.

Win FREE pizza with Vital Football!
Select your team and get 50% off if they score twice.
www.papajohns.co.uk/football



Please help Vital Football by spending 3 minutes on our survey: The 3 minutes Vital Survey

Writer:Mikey Delap
Date:Wednesday July 18 2007
Time: 12:14PM

Best of Vital Network

Comments

0
Hope you like this... It is a good read (i think).
MikeyGamst
18/07/2007 12:22:00
0
lol its a classic, ive seen it before, always brings a laugh, good one mikey
sasman
18/07/2007 12:35:00
0
Quality :) LOL good work!
OLASAL
18/07/2007 12:52:00
0
Mikey... the wit of the hour! LOL - Sorry Mikey... it must be a quiet news day! but you have missed out on some....
Ex Ewood Resident
18/07/2007 13:10:00
0
what?!?!?! - this is used when you have crossed the boundary (of which you don't where it is or when it has moved) and you can guanrantee that retribution will follow
Ex Ewood Resident
18/07/2007 13:13:00
0
You Decide - this is another dodgy and unpredicatable statement. It can mean "I can't bothered to decide, so I want you to and you had better get it right" or it can be a test - "I know the answer but you have to read my mind to find out and you had better get it right... you b*****rd"
Ex Ewood Resident
18/07/2007 13:15:00
0
Very true ExEwood... some good additions....
MikeyGamst
18/07/2007 13:49:00
0
LOL, great stuff Mikey, nice one! Also some class additions form Ex Ewood.
Hughes Da Man
18/07/2007 23:37:00
0
you've just never met the right woman!
merlin
20/07/2007 19:45:00
0
I have mate... lol. She says things just like above!!!!
MikeyGamst
21/07/2007 12:47:00
Page 1/1
  1. 1

Login to post a comment

Recent Blackburn Rovers Articles

Blackburn - Premier League Free Transfers 2015/16

As the summer nears and contracts come to an end, should Blackburn Rovers be interested in any of the following free transfers?

Match Day Officials v Rotherham (30/4/16)

The Football League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Rotherham United this weekend.

Audio - Lambert Discusses Summer Departure

Manager Paul Lambert has spoken following his decision to leave Blackburn Rovers at the end of the season.

Blackburn - Football League Dates 2016/17

The Football League, or the brainless EFL rebrand, have today released the key dates for the coming 2016/17 season.

Archived Vital Blackburn Articles

Vital Blackburn articles from

Site Journalists

Walker
Editor email
Profile
VitalRovers
no email
Profile
Mikey Delap
no email
Profile
Sasman!
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Bristol City MotM
Suggested By:
Steele3%
Lowe0%
Hanley6%
Ward0%
Kilgallon0%
Mahoney33%
Akpan6%
Evans6%
Marshall0%
Gomez0%
Graham40%
Sub-Conway0%
Sub-Jackson6%
Sub-Lenihan0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Middlesbrough 45 26 10 9 88 32
2 Burnley 44 24 15 5 87 33
3 Brighton 44 24 15 5 87 30
4 Hull City 44 23 11 10 80 31
5 Derby County 44 21 14 9 77 24
6 Sheff Wed 44 18 17 9 71 19
7 Cardiff 44 17 16 11 67 8
8 Ipswich 44 16 15 13 63 0
9 Birmingham 45 16 14 15 62 4
10 Brentford 44 17 8 19 59 -2
11 Preston 44 14 16 14 58 -1
12 Leeds Utd 44 14 16 14 58 -7
13 Q.P.R. 44 13 18 13 57 0
14 Wolves 44 13 15 16 54 -6
15 Reading 44 13 13 18 52 -4
16 Huddersfield 44 13 12 19 51 -3
17 Forest 44 12 15 17 51 -5
18 Blackburn 44 11 16 17 49 -3
19 Rotherham 44 13 10 21 49 -13
20 Bristol City 44 12 13 19 49 -20
21 Fulham 44 11 15 18 48 -11
R MK Dons 44 9 12 23 39 -28
R Charlton 44 8 13 23 37 -38
R Bolton 44 4 15 25 27 -40
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Blackburn Rovers Results (view all)

Blackburn Rovers Fixtures (view all)

Apr 30 2016 3:00PM : Rotherham United (a)
Sky Bet Championship
May 7 2016 12:30PM : Reading (H)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Walker12
2.jimbogeesus2
3.@roverseas2
4.Dublin_Rover1