Blackburn Rovers - Rovers Things You Know Will Happen
UK time is: 03:31:11
Vital Login
Social Login

Choose your club

Other Sites

Network Navigation

Vital Partners

'If It's Football, It's Vital'

Rovers Things You Know Will Happen

This is a slapstick look at events unfolding next season, no, none of them are serious but hopefully it'll be fun to read.....

1) After coming on as a sub with 10 minutes left, Stephane Henchoz is replaced in the 83rd minute due to exhaustion.

2) Despite playing a stormer for 60 mins, with a game full of craft and vision, Paul Gallagher is replaced whilst the tired and anonymous Shabani Nonda stays on the pitch.

3) Mark Hughes goes the full season on the touchline without smiling.

4) Chris Samba sustains a concussion ruling him out for a month after whacking into the 'this is Anfield' sign away at Liverpool.

5) Seconds after signing a double your money contract extension, Dave Dunn pulls a hamstring whilst putting the pen back on the desk.

6) After scoring a goal at the Blackburn end, Matty Derbyshire performs the most subdued celebration ever seen. (Just doing the 3 laps round the pitch whilst throwing his arms around like an 8 year old on creatine).

7) During the half time interval Shabani Nonda is ordered to take 5 penalties against Roar the Lion, scoring 1, missing 3 and having one saved brilliantly by the athletic Lion.

8) During the match, Roar is spotted NOT chatting up the stewardesses.

9) Kevin Hitchcock is spotted in the dugout without his arms folded, the caption receives 500,000 from Sky One for the shock footage taken by a season ticket holder in the Jack Walker Stand.

10) Stephen Warnock is revealed in the News of the World as the secret love child of Tugay. And the real reason he has not been selected by Steve McClaren for his England Squads is that Warnock is actually Turkish, making him in eligible.


NOT REGISTERD TO VITAL BLACKBURN? WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! Register by clicking here.




Use your social login to comment on front page articles. Login using you Facebook, Twitter, Google or LinkedIn accounts and have your say!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Mikey Delap Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Monday June 11 2007

Time: 10:44AM

Your Comments (oldest first)

Change to most recent first
Classic lol. You missed 2 mikey. 1) Tugay scores a trademark volley from 30 yard out. 2) After a 20 goal year, our 8 million pound striker asks for a transfer to the next biggest club going around, Birmingham City
sasman
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 10:50:00

Great stuff! Not all are as unlikely as you may well think though MikeyGamst. 1, 2 & 3 for me are ALL highly possible lol!
Hughes Da Man
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 10:54:00

Number 7 is a definite... gald people are enjoying. I've got a Brett Emerton article coming up that is a good read (I think)...
MikeyGamst
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 11:01:00

Not so sure dude........can you really see him scoring 1 lol!
Hughes Da Man
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 11:47:00

classic! you missed 11) David Bentley puts in the world's most perfect cross to the back post only for MGP to hit the post from a yard out (unfortunately you KNOW this one WILL happen again). 12) Derbyshire, Bentley AND Warnock get called up for senior England only to occupy spots on the bench all game whilst Kiron Dyer comes on up front, Jenas is subbed on into right-midfield and Phil Neville takes over as left-back.
Bents4eng
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 14:04:00

You missed out Gamst changing his shirt name to Morten!
roversman
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 17:09:00

Also JR being the Prem's top goalscorer despite failing to hit the target with any of his attempted 'shots'!
roversman
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 17:11:00

Bents4eng - Neville takes over the captains armband to boot! Are you really sure that MGP would hit the post though, he would be more likely to put it wide wouldn't he lol!
Hughes Da Man
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 19:15:00

roversman - Well MGP has to complete the full set, what could be his reasoning (and for him to get away with it?!?!) to change the name to Morten?!?! JR WILL be the top scorer :) OK, maybe not top scorer, maybe our top scorer though.
Hughes Da Man
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 19:16:00

12) Derbyshire, Bentley AND Warnock get called up for senior England only to occupy spots on the bench all game whilst Kiron Dyer comes on up front, Jenas is subbed on into right-midfield and Phil Neville takes over as left-back. F*****G AMEN BROTHER!!!
BomBom
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 22:48:00

How about Sparky DOESNT pull his trousers up after we go 3-0 up!!!
BomBom
Report Abuse
11/06/2007 22:50:00

He does tend to do that a lot doesnt he??? whats with the trouser pulling???
MikeyGamst
Report Abuse
12/06/2007 10:44:00

He's pulling them up in a "job done" fashion, often with a nod of approval also. I love seeing it as I know it means he is a happy man.
Hughes Da Man
Report Abuse
12/06/2007 11:25:00

happy man with less chaffing! :D
BomBom
Report Abuse
12/06/2007 11:34:00

happy man with far to much sperm to put around....
MikeyGamst
Report Abuse
12/06/2007 18:45:00

 

Have Your Say

Log in...
with your social network     OR     with your Vital account

Recent Blackburn Rovers Articles

Vital Report - Blackburn 0-0 Bolton (Sunday August 30 2015)

Video - Bolton Highlights (Saturday August 29 2015)

Stats: Blackburn v Bolton (Friday August 28 2015)

Blackburn v Bolton - Team Line Ups (Friday August 28 2015)

Leeds Trip On Sky (Friday August 28 2015)

Duffy & Bowyer Ahead Of Bolton (Friday August 28 2015)

Rovers Preview: Bolton Wanderers (H) (Friday August 28 2015)

Blackburn Host Lancashire Rivals! (Thursday August 27 2015)

Bowyer's 'Complete Shock' (Thursday August 27 2015)

Archived Blackburn Rovers Articles

List All Vital Blackburn Articles
Have your say
Click here to suggest an article
Click here to suggest a poll
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

Vital Members League (view all)

1. Walker 161
2. dallydally 136
3. roverjoy 26
4. @roverseas 21
5. jimbogeesus 16
6. rovers2011 15
7. captain _midnight 13
8. hmibennett 12
9. mobyduck 5
10. billingtonrover 2

League Results (view all)

Latest Results
Blackburn 0 - 0 Bolton
Brighton 1 - 0 Blackburn
Blackburn 1 - 1 Cardiff
Huddersfield 1 - 1 Blackburn
Blackburn 1 - 2 Wolves

League Table (view table)

Team P W D L GD Pts
18. Brentford 4 1 1 2 -1 4
19. Derby County 5 0 4 1 -1 4
20. Bristol City 5 1 1 3 -4 4
21. Blackburn 5 0 3 2 -2 3
22. Huddersfield 5 0 3 2 -3 3
23. Bolton 5 0 3 2 -4 3
24. Rotherham 5 0 1 4 -8 1

Blackburn Rovers Fixtures (view all)

Breaking League News

LUFC Leeds Fan View v Derby County
Leeds Utd : 30/08/2015 20:29:00
Opinion: Player of the Month
Birmingham : 30/08/2015 20:11:00
Freedman - We're Braced For Bids
Forest : 30/08/2015 18:11:00
Freedman amp; Vaughan On Cardiff Loss
Forest : 30/08/2015 18:00:00
Victory Pleased Bruce
Hull City : 30/08/2015 17:45:01

Current Site Poll (view all polls)

Bolton MotM
Suggested By:  Site Staff
Raya 1%
Henley 0%
Duffy 22%
Hanley 0%
Spurr 0%
Conway 44%
Lowe 0%
Evans 0%
Marshall 0%
Delfouneso 0%
Rhodes 11%
Sub - Koita 0%
Sub - Guthrie 22%
Sub - Barrow 0%