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A Little Wayne Never Hurt Anyone

A Little Wayne Never Hurt Anyone

As much as I enjoy my position as the country`s leading football betting scribe, I occasionally yearn for the more glamorous world of investigative journalism.

When news broke that David Moyes had initiated legal proceedings against Wayne Rooney for alleging that his ex-boss leaked tales of his 'cash for a rash` habit; I sensed my opportunity.

To get to the bottom of the story, I knew I had to do everything that young Rooney did, with the exception of the old trout.

After conducting my initial enquiries, I can confirm that there are establishments that offer this kind of tawdry service, and they open on a Friday night, a Saturday morning and a Sunday afternoon. I`m not sure if these places are open in midweek, but my investigation is ongoing.

At this early stage, I wouldn`t like to put money on Moyes being successful in his action, as my overheads have left me virtually potless. I`ll try to recoup a little by backing Rooney`s United to see off the Moyes boys at 8/11.

It may sound ridiculous to claim that Watford have enjoyed their spell in the top flight, but some people welcome a spanking on a weekly basis. The Hornets will be getting tonked at Bramall Lane this week, 4/7 is lying on the table.

Manchester City haven`t scored a Premiership goal in front of their own supporters since New Years Day. Luckily for the Psycho, Aston Villa are the next visitors to Eastlands so Vassell is guaranteed a goal. The Villa are unbeaten in their last six matches; a draw looks the call at 9/4.

Jose Mourinho believes that Manchester United`s opponents are denied penalties as a result of a 'new rule`. The Special One is completely wrong on this one; that directive was introduced several years ago. I only have one rule this weekend, get on Chelsea at 1/3 to see off Bolton.

If i had to pick Wigan`s most consistent performer, I`d probably plump for the chairman; he`s been consistently wrong in every interview this season. West Ham can drag Wigan into the relegation battle at 12/5.

Charlton have one major advantage over their backdoor threatened rivals, they have the Bent lad up front. The classy hitman can help Charlton leave Ewood Park with a point at 5/2.

I was surprised that the tabloids found it newsworthy to reveal that the royal family are Arsenal fans. I`m pretty sure that Prince Philip supported the Gunners in last season`s Champions League final; I heard he wrote a note saying 'Get it done in Paris.` The Queen`s favourite team will put one over her favourite shopkeeper at 4/9.

Stevie Gerrard swapped shirts with Frank Lampard after Liverpool`s first leg defeat in their Champions League semi; he`s always had a soft spot for camping. The Reds will have one eye on the second leg; Portsmouth can land the upset at 11/4.

Reading were absolutely devastated when Newcastle won from behind at St James` earlier in the season; nobody has regretted losing a lead in such a fashion since Helen Chamberlain`s ex-boyfriend. The Royals can gain revenge at 21/20.

Middlesbrough are having to plan for next season without Mark Viduka. Gareth Southgate is said to be quite disappointed; but it`s Christmas come early for the catering department. Backing the draw between Boro and Spurs at 12/5 will make us all feel that little bit happier.

Portsmouth, Sheffield United, Arsenal and Reading form a 14/1 weekend accer that is so liberating, I`ve finally realised that the female of the species is not a commodity that can be bought and sold. Renting remains a viable alternative.

Weekend Betting:

Chelsea v Bolton
Saturday 28th April 12:45
Live on Sky

Chelsea 1/3
Draw 4/1
Bolton 10/1

Get on: Chelsea

Match Special:
Lampard to score from outside the penalty area 7/2

Everton v Man Utd
Saturday 28th April
12:45 Live on Sky

Everton 4/1
Draw 13/5
Man Utd 8/11

Get on: Man Utd

Match Special:
Rooney to score the first goal 5/1

Blackburn v Charlton
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Blackburn 5/4
Draw 5/2
Charlton 11/4

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Darren Bent to score in a 1-1 draw 17/1

Man City v Aston Villa
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Man City 13/10
Draw 9/4
Aston Villa 23/10

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Vassell and Carew both to score 9/1

Middlesbrough v Tottenham
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Middlesbrough 17/10
Draw 12/5
Tottenham 8/5

Get on: Draw

Match Special:
Match to finish either 1-1 or 2-2 4/1

Portsmouth v Liverpool
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Portsmouth 11/4
Draw 12/5
Liverpool 5/4

Get on: Portsmouth

Match Special:
Taylor to score the only goal of the game 105/1

Sheff Utd v Watford
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Sheff Utd 4/7
Draw 3/1
Watford 5/1

Get on: Sheff Utd

Match Special:
Sheffield United to keep a clean sheet 10/11

Wigan v West Ham
Saturday 28th April 15:00

Wigan 13/10
Draw 12/5
West Ham 12/5

Get on: West Ham

Match Special:
Tevez to score at any time 12/5

Arsenal v Fulham
Sunday 29th April 16:00
Live on Sky

Arsenal 4/9
Draw 7/2
Fulham 9/1

Get on: Arsenal

Match Special:
Arsenal to win by two or more goals 6/5

Reading v Newcastle
Monday 30th April 20:00 Live on Sky

Reading 21/20
Draw 12/5
Newcastle 3/1

Get on: Reading

Match Special:
Doyle to score two or more goals 11/2


By Gerry McDonnell


Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Site Staff
Date:Thursday April 26 2007
Time: 3:53PM

Comments

0
Come on then MikeyGamst, what's you money on this week?!?!
Hughes Da Man
26/04/2007 16:02:00
0
at 4-1 with a shakey united back line and what will be a rocking goodison with this weeks events, is a very good price realy. we need 1 maybe 2 wins for europe and i think we will get it saturday
EvertonMike
26/04/2007 20:23:00
0
It is really sad about Alan Ball isn't it Mike, it would be GREAT for Everton to beat Manure at the weekend. It's not right that the youngest member should become one of the first to go, not that I would wish it on any of our '66 Heroes of course. I'm sure Everton, and ALL English football fans will show over the weekend what we thought of him. Now Ball is a true legend isn't he not like some of these prima donnas today.
Hughes Da Man
26/04/2007 23:51:00
0
Right lads... my bro's fiver is on 2-0 Man City with Barton first goalscorer (Man City are Villa;s bogey team). Myself personally I have gone with Blackburn to win 1-0 with Morten Gamst as the first scorer...it will be a nervy one I reckon but we have enough in us to see them off. 18/1 I got... £5 says hello to £95.
MikeyGamst
27/04/2007 08:14:00
0
Good luck with this one Mikey. I totally agree it will be a nervy one but have this feeling we might conceed, and maybe first through Darren Bent before claiming a 2-1 win!
Hughes Da Man
27/04/2007 09:39:00
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