Writer: Mikey Delap
Date:Wednesday April 28 2010
Help is needed.
In a world where it seems if column inches need filling then anything gets printed I thought I would lend a helping hand.
We here at Blackburn have to put up with as much 'lazy journalism' as the next guy so to help the pen pushers become more accurate work I thought I would come up with this compact guide.
- Our summer budget is roughly £6-7 million. That is for all transfers and unless we sell anyone we can't pay anymore than that due to budget contraints.
Linking us with Nikola Zigic and Djibril Cisse for £12 million is just an awful lack of intelligence.
- If you need a quick story to fill a small gap in your print, can I suggest a story about croquet or even Swiss bull hen racing.
It is much better than linking us with PLAYER A or Tal Ben Haim just because he used to play with Big Sam back in the days when typewriters were fashionable.
- Stop putting insulting valuations on our players.
Chris Samba is worth about £8 million so to put up a 'Spurs to bag Rovers star Samba for £3 million' as a serious story is only making fun of yourself.
- Our highest paid player is on about £45,000 a week. So to make out like we are going to get Amr Zaki on a free transfer and pay his £90,000 a week wages is again not using that noodle god gave you.
- Please refrain from using the words 'Sam's type of player' in every article about a potential new Blackburn player.
Yes he likes direct football but the saying is about four years past being an acceptable term.
If you are struggling with any of this please feel free to email us here at Vital Blackburn at firstname.lastname@example.org
Thankyou for your time.
Please stay tuned for your next step by step guide which will be -
A guide to making up rumours about celebrities and doing it so you don't need to write an apology 3 days later.
Date:Wednesday April 28 2010
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